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Now in my eighties, when I think about the collection of experiences that has made up my life, I am struck by its similarity to a crazy quilt. Bright satins and taffetas alongside somber flannels and dark velveteen’s, all tied together with many colored embroidery threads in a variety of intricate stitches. If a woman is fortunate, she will feel the balance of her experiences leans to the bright-satins-and-taffetas side. But I have come to understand how much we can learn from hardship and can now look with appreciation at the dark and somber patches in the quilt of my life. The bright patches and the dark patches and the intricate stitches all combine to make a warm and comforting coverlet. Marcel Proust said, and forgive my translation, for I never became as adept with French as my good friend Elizabeth, "Happiness is beneficial to the body, but it is grief that develops the powers of the mind."
The meaning of this statement is not clear to a young person, but sometimes with age we are given the wisdom to begin to make sense of life's complexity. When I was a young girl the episodes that were difficult seemed terribly unpleasant and I could find no purpose for them. I could only try to comfort myself in reading or in stitching. Now, when I remember those times I find myself smiling. It was harder to smile then. I had not yet learned to trust the unfolding process of my life.
I know now that I had advantages not shared by every young woman of my time, no doubt about it - growing up in a small American town at the turn of the century most young women had a narrow range of choices, in fact most could not vote! But I grew up in an educated and loving family and was exposed to reading and ideas as well as to more traditionally acceptable activities. I was also blessed with the extraordinary gift of lifelong friendships. Two of those friendships in particular are central to the tale I'm about to tell you, via diary entries and letters exchanged between the three of us - myself, Emma Alice Ogden, my best friend, Elizabeth Benton and our special friend, Charlie. ...
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